Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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