Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
