Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
