Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
