Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
