I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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