Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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