I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
