Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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