I'm going to jail i love you
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
