We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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