You're so nebulous sometimes
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
