OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
