C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
