I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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