Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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