Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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