i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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