Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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