That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
