last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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