so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
