goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
