She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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