I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize