i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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