You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
