i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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