Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
