Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
