jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
