now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
