Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
