I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
