I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
