Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
