Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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