Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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