I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
