Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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