Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
jump out the window naked night went bad
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