I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
