How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
