So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
