No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
