Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
handjob tips. give me some.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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