And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
