Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Pooping to opera.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
