dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
