She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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