Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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